Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Bachelor's Jokes

Elderly man's lament while pissing,

"Why did you die first when we were born together?"

Elderly man's logical reason for taking Viagra

indignant wife: "What are you taking Viagra for?!!!"

husband: "So I don't wet my feet whenever I piss."

Q: If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
A: A Rhino -- Head down, then CHARGE!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A Filipino Bachelor's Thoughts On The PCSO Mess

The senate investigation of the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office (or PCSO) uncovered previous PCSO management donating cars to seven Catholic Bishops [hopefully, also bachelors]. This led pundits to remark that PCSO stands for "Pa-Car Sa Obispo" [Tagalog term which translates to Car Plan for Bishops].

Confirmation of Filipino Bachelor's Suspicion

The donation confirmed the Filipino Bachelor's suspicion that former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo (PGMA) bought the cooperation of Filipino Bishops, who, hopefully, are all bachelors. Although no law was violated, the revelation has put the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) on the defensive. The Filipino Bishops' Conference never took a strong stand against the blatant and massive corruption that heavily shrouded the administration of PGMA. Furthermore, the Filipino bishops have lent their support to PGMA during shaky periods of her administration.

Filipino Bishops' Criticism Of A Bachelor President

One cannot help but notice the Filipino Bishops' kid-glove treatment of PGMA to the rabidly critical stance against the Bachelor President, Noynoy Aquino (P-Noy). The Filipino Bishops have taken a hard line position against the Reproductive Health Bill, a priority legislation of the Bachelor President. Much earlier in Aquino's presidency, Bishop Cruz insinuated that P-Noy was receiving payola from jueteng [an illegal numbers game] through his local government Undersecretary Puno who was a shooting buddy of the President. Bishop Pueblos recently asked the resignation of the President for not doing anything although the Bishop kept silent during the 9-year, scandal-ridden presidency of GMA. Bishop Pueblos is the same bishop who asked for and received a car as a birthday gift from the former president, GMA.

Bachelor Bishops' Support Anchored On Two Sins

The tone set and actions taken by the bishops on reproductive health and access to government money clearly define issues that matter to them. Thus, it can be safely assumed that the venerable (and hopefully bachelor) bishops will give support to any political demon who will commit two sins, the sin of omission and the sin of commission.

The sin of omission involves avoidance of reproductive health issues. The bachelor-by-choice bishops are allergic to the word reproduction because it is synonymous to sex. And sex is a mortal sin.

The sin of commission simply relates to commission defined as a fee charged by a broker or agent for his/her service in facilitating a transaction [Source:]

A Filipino Bachelor's Mental Notes

The behavior shown by the bishops proves that they are truly human. Not only that, they have a price. At this point, it can be said the in exchange for their collective silence, some bishops were given Asian Utility Vehicles amounting to less than Php 10M. The bishops can be had for cheap.

The bishops should just follow the lead of The Legally-Recycled Bachelor.

The Legally-Recycled Bachelor can never be called cheap because he is FREE.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

"Weird Al" Yankovic's Perform This Way (Parody of "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga)

"Weird Al" does it again. Hilarious!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

E-Loading Business

A female friend from way back invited me to attend a business opportunity presentation. My first question was, "Multi-Level yan ano?" She just replied that I should attend and check out for myself. Unable to say no, I attended the presentation which was held at Robinson's Galleria Corporate Offices.

My initial suspicion turned out to be correct. The business opportunity was a multi-level marketing scheme involving electronic loads.

Not wanting to turn down a female friend, I enrolled in the retailer scheme. I reasoned that my consumption of e-load will be enough to recover my investment of Php250.00 in a year's time.

I get an average of 10% discount on e-loads as an e-load retailer. And I have a captive market, my mother who just loves to send SMS to her friends.